👿Don’t Let Your Self-Sabotage Win🔨

It took me too long (i.e. on social media only started recently) to show up like this, sharing things with intention that hopefully will encourage some people to share their meaningful gifts, be more confident, to believe in themselves, as I mentioned in my previous post (Signs that You're Enough). Yeah, it is easy to say, but putting it into practice is not easy at all. Do you know why? Because I feel that my friend (whom I shouldn't call a friend, maybe a visitor) comes back every now and then. This visitor reminds me that I'm not good enough. But again, how do I allow this visitor, who is not really my friend, to keep returning? 

"You know what, ok, my visitor. I will let you come and remind me. However, you cannot stay too long because I don't want to hang out with you. You are not being helpful, but instead, you self-sabotage and make me feel I'm not good enough." Sometimes those self-talk works, but sometimes I have to be a bit firm to make this visitor go away.

I hope you get what I'm saying. Does it sound familiar? Or do you have a similar story? Please don't let your visitor stay too long or, even better, don't let them in at all.

Self-sabotage can be harmful if it turns into a habit. Above is my self-sabotage experience that I'm learning to get better at mastering. Other forms of self-sabotage may affect your productivity, not only personally but also your professional life. Here are 7 self-sabotage habits that we need to beware of:

Habit #1 Overthinking

Overthinking is when you keep worrying about things, leading to fear and depression. 

When we are in the process of switching careers and expanding our life purpose, we often draft lots of plans and scenarios. If we are not careful to control our thoughts and daily rhythm, we may get trapped in the habit of overthinking. 

My tips to stop overthinking is to get busy and get going. Do not let yourself sit and think too long. Making a timer for brainstorming daily and reading books before sleeping is the best way to end the day. 

Habit # 2 Negativity

We cannot always control overthinking, but the worst is to keep negative thoughts. The "Negative what if" will prevent us from happiness. When we can't help to overthink things, we can let it happen but try to alternate negative feelings, including fears to take over our minds. Breathe in and out and keep telling yourself that life can't be perfect, but problems will not stay forever. You can pass through difficult times. Practice self-affirmation and, if necessary, have a folder in your phone or book with all your favourite positive quotes that may help you when you start having negative thoughts inside your mind.

Habits# 3 Procrastination

How can procrastination be a form of Self-Sabotage habit? We procrastinate tasks for reasons: there are more important things to do, or there are more enjoyable or more accessible things to do. 

We tend to eliminate complex tasks; however, if we make procrastination a habit, we will lose productivity and miss more chances to be efficient and successful. 

Habit # 4 Keep feeling sorry (Self-Pity)

We sabotage ourselves when we feel sorry for things happening and do nothing about it. Keeping feeling sorry is a sign of low self-esteem. It turns worst when we combine it with self-pity behaviour. It is why self-awareness is crucial. We must know our feelings and start recognising why we feel sorry about ourselves. It is essential to build a mechanism to pull ourselves when we sink; the sense of guilt and self-pity will help us to save more energy that we can use to be productive. 

Habit #5 It is hard to feel happy

Some people find it hard to feel happy. Usually, it is related to memories and trauma. It makes it hard to feel differently than fear and sadness. This habit is a habit of self-sabotage and will prevent us from success. People find it hard to feel happy because they think about it. It is crucial to build consciousness to know yourself better and build our way of managing our feelings better. It doesn't mean we only want to accept positivity; our ability to generate happy feelings will benefit self-growth. 

Habit #6 Cannot see our Own Value

When someone asks, "What are your strengths?" Can we list them? In more advanced questions, "Do you know your value?" Sometimes in our environment, from the smallest one, we don't get appreciated for what we have done or our achievements. Our family does not always understand what we are doing with our lives. In the workplace, not everyone understands our efforts to get things done. In crucial moments when we need support, the best support should come from us. Knowing ourselves and our values will help us build inner strength so that in whatever situation we face, we may pass through and reach our goals.

Habits #7 Have no purpose or goals

We can't have motivation without goals. Without reason, we have no fuel to live. Sometimes, we suddenly lose our purpose or goals, but we have to find it. We can't let ourselves go without purpose or goals; we have to set them and move on. Keeping ourselves with no purpose or goals is a sign that we have let sabotage WIN. We can find our purpose by looking into ourselves or others. We can get inspired by our closest circle, like our family and friends. We can get inspired by travelling inside ourselves and by travelling to see different places and people. 

Have you experienced the same? Do you have a self-sabotage habit? Please share your story too.